So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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