But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
