Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My vagina just recognized that song.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
