Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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