Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
