My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
