doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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