we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
