but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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