some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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