I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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