is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
