I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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