If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
soo... how was my night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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