You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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