She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize