never play flip cup with pint glasses
Everything about him screamed your future.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
