Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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