The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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