all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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