Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
