If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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