okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Come share oat with me in your robe
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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