Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
