There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
