Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
