You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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