I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
