I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My vagina is very pro this idea
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
