Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Duck Duck Cougar?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
