Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
