Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
