can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
