so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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