I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
