when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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