Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
