The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize