I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
