even my farts smell like vagina
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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