My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize