did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My balls are so social today.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
