i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My bed smells like the plague
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
