Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
