you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
