I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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