whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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