OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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