if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
vagina is talking i cant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
