It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
