dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i wish my penis had a tongue
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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