He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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