i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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