Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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