I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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