Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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