were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize