We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
