I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My ass is underappreciated
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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