Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
