i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
