He is an equal opportunity slut.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Someone signed my nipple.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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