it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
zippers are such a cool invention
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
wow bdsm is so cute
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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